Goodnight Moon for Moms

I came across this today and found it rather appropriate (and entertaining).
Enjoy!



In the messy green
family room
There was a telemarketer ringing the telephone
And a crying toddler
because his brother just popped his
red balloon
And a picture of
The cow jumping over the moon (which someone colored on with permanent marker)
And there was a missing
teddy bear, and a girl with
gum in her hair

And one to be scolded
And laundry to be folded
And a very hungry spouse
And something stinky in the house
(that no one else seemed to smell)

And a comb and a brush and a colicky baby who just won't shush
And a frazzled mommy screaming #*%#@

Goodnight messy room
Goodnight scribbled on moon
Goodnight cow getting out while she can
Goodnight telemarketers and the
popped balloon
Goodnight long gone teddy bear
Goodnight cereal bar smeared all
over the dining room chair

Goodnight spitup
And goodnight leaky sippy cup
Goodnight much too little house
and goodnight grumpy spouse
Goodnight comb and goodnight brush
And goodnight to a certain 4 yearold
who just needs to hush right now
I mean it

Goodnight Elmo
Goodnight toys we'll pick up tomorrow,
or the next day

Hello chardonnay and TiVo
me time finally

Things I learned in a major ice storm....

NOT the North texas Ice Storm....worst since 1980...blah blah blah....but the REAL ice storm I got see unfold last week when I was in Northwest Arkansas. I'm back in NWA this week, and this place looks like a dead tree wasteland and there will be plenty of clean up work to be done.

I did learn a few fun things I will utilize the next time I find myself surrounded by 3 inches of solid ice:

1. Spiky, heeled shoes (i.e. my boots) work very well as traction on the ice when you stomp and dig the heel into the ice to get traction to walk.

2. Kohl's, Belk, Chili's, Copeland's, and a vast other of stores and restaurants WILL close. Colton's employees will get a hotel room and stay open with a limited staff and help from the customers brave enough to drive there (or walk there).

Chick-Fil-A will stay open and can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

3. Hotel Management CANNOT determine or forecast when the electricity will go out. Several guests (who were displaced from the their un-lit homes) kept calling the front desk asking the Front Desk Mgr to play God and forecast loss of electricity (we never lost it - but 190,000 other people did).

4. Ice scrapers can be used as a chisel....2 inches of ice does not "scrape" off a car. Screwdrivers work nicely too....

5. Wal-Mart Supercenters WILL close.

6. Decatur Schools closing (and therefore daycare) is not a happy time for two working parents, one 500 miles from home in the Ice Age, while the other has an auditor coming to his office come hell or high water. But all will work out just fine :)

7. When ice falls, you become more aware of what you stand under.

CFA Potty Drama

Really, Chick-Fil-A (or CFA for short) should be the HAPPIEST place on Earth! They have food that both kids and adults love, a decent play area (when I am up for letting Avery play), and the one in Southlake, where we were on Wednesday, is pretty clean. Well, as clean as a kid-infested, fast-food restaurant at lunchtime can be.

I had to take Avery to the dentist for her semi-annual teeth cleaning, X-Rays, and checkup this past Wednesday. As a treat for being a good girl, and waiting the appropriate 30 minutes after fluoride, I took her to CFA for lunch.

All was well - it wasn't very busy (I thought less ladies in Southlake worked and had play dates at CFA?), it was quick, and the food was good (always!). No problem there. As we were finishing, Avery decided she needed to go potty. No problem. We headed to the ladies room and she promptly told me she would go into the stall by herself. Once again, no problem - she's been doing that for awhile now.

She opted for the handicapped stall, which I would have preferred her not to take, but again it was a slow day at the ole' Southlake CFA so I figured the likelihood of someone in true need of that stall in the next two minutes was going to be pretty slim. All was well, as I waiting outside her stall for her to finish - three ladies walked in....right about the time little Miller Lite couldn't get her lock to open. Problem. I gave her another 30 or so seconds...no go. Problem. She started to cry, and the ladies started to chuckle because we all knew what I was going to have to do (BIG PROBLEM). Crawl on my belly and hands, like a GI in boot camp, on the floor of a public fast food restroom and under the stall and set my little angel free.

I did my thankless, nasty Momma duty with my head held high (well, it was held high until I had to get it under the stall door) and brought my baby to freedom. As we washed our hands and everyone had a good laugh (I SO wanted to DIE on the inside) the ladies explained they had each done the battle of the toddler and public bathroom locks with their own kids who were now in high school. Nice gesture, no help to the current toddler momma (ME!) who had got knows what bathroom funk on her clothes and hands.

I've decided I will write CFA to ask them to install emergency escape latches on the bathroom doors (that only Moms know about) so no one ever has to do that AGAIN.

Oh, and no, she didn't get to play in the playground area, I figured we both had enough germs for one day.

The Wonders of a Big, Blue Wal*Mart and Green-ness

Avery (Miller Lite) thinks Wal*Mart is the coolest place on Earth. Unlike those if us who are old, she doesn't remember when a local Wal*Mart store did not carry a full line of groceries, were not free-standing (usually in a strip mall) and had aisles 2 feet wide and 10 feet high. When I was her age (am I truly old enough to say that?) we had to go to 3-5 different stores to get all the things we needed vs. just heading to the local Wal*Mart Supercenter to get it all in one swoop. And then stand in line 30 minutes to pay for it.

Avery and I have a conversation about Wal*Mart and it's logistics every week or so. Last week, here is how the conversation went:

Avery: "What time does Wal*Mart close?"

Me: "Honey, Wal*Mart never closes. It's open all night. Big Wal*Marts only close on Christmas Day."

Avery: " Wal*Mart is open ALL night?"

Me: "Yes, all night. Even when we are asleep."

Avery: "Then how do they save energy if they never turn the lights off?"

At this point, I was so very proud! She is learning that you should conserve energy....I'm not sure how, but OK I'll go with it! I do teach her to recycle and show her what things can be thrown away and what things should go in our handy-dandy recycle bin - but this was a proud momma moment when I decided maybe she does listen to me...or her teachers. Chalk another in the "Yeah - she's going to Kindergarten in Aug at 5 yrs 2 weeks of age."

I Want THAT pilot flying MY Plane...

I swear I was thinking about this blog entry back on Tuesday already....when I was coming in for a bumpy landing into the Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport, after being delayed in Dallas so they could change a tire that was cut (nice catch on that one guys). It's always bumpy going into XNA - I know that - I've made that flight 50+ times over the last 7 or so years. But for me, it makes it no easier because I don't like to fly.

GREAT! My job requires me to fly, and over the course of time, I have gotten only slightly better about it. Some flights are better for me than others - and there's no rhyme or reason why. The demeanor of a pilot, age, facial hair, gender (I know, hush) can sway me one way or another on how I feel about a flight. I think it may be a control thing too. I know these people are trained, and highly-skilled professionals...but I'm not driving.

When a plane goes down like it yesterday, it's make my fears no better. But I have to say, after the head up, cool as a cucumber, we lost both engines so let's take it into the Hudson River landing by a pilot so decorated I have no idea why he was flying such a random flight, I have a re-newed respect for the pilots who fly me around.

I forget many of those pilots were in the military, flew high-tech fighter jets, and are skilled enough to take a 747 into a barrel roll. But I have also talked to commercial pilots who don't like turbulence (they say it's worse when you know it's coming...great), or passengers (and you fly commercial airlines because....). I have even talked to FedEx pilots who are as amazed as we are they can even get off the ground they are so heavy with freight (nice).

But with that, I am reminded of one of the best flights I ever had going from NY to St. Louis. No fear start to finish. It was an evening flight, and the pilot was a kindly, smiley, grey-haired gentleman who greeted us all as we came on board. He then pointed out the beautiful NYC skyline as we were ascending right after takeoff. He also came on several times during the flight to let us know how we were progressing (more that normal). It is the 1st and only time I had a pilot go so above and beyond, and in his voice you could tell he'd LOVED his job. Others noticed it too and the flight attendants said he was always like that.

When we landed, it was announced that was his last flight - he was retiring. The plane was only about half full that night and nearly every one of us stopped to congratulate him and shake his hand or hug him. I hugged him because he got me to my destination in one piece and made me feel safer than I ever had on a plane. If a kind word and smile can do that for me, I can't imagine how those passengers yesterday feel about the pilot who saved their life and how they will look at their air travel in the future.

Ok...so it really DOES look like I will soon be praying to a Tim-Bow god.
ARTICLE

Friday Happy Thoughts

I wondered if they got ID'ed to buy the spray paint?

I remember going to a, shall we say, scary-arse WM in OKC during my Sales Rep days, and there was a car in the parking lot, with all the windows broken out. On top of that, the beautiful, green (I think) Chevy Cavalier had been torched to a crisp. The store manager did not seem to care that his parking lot looked like something out of downtown Beirut in the 80's, as that car was there for like a week. Curiosity got the best of me and I went and checked the car for dead bodies.....none.

I'm not sure why this seems wrong, but "Watch Parties" for a documentary called "Crystal Darkness" which is about, you guessed it, Crystal Meth and it's fabulous affects just does not sound right. I don't think "Party" is the appropriate word - how about "Group Viewing and Discussion"

My bathroom ceiling is repaired. I've gotta give a shout out to Geraldo Sanchez who is a miracle worker of drywall and texture. It's a seamless fix, and I ALMOST don't have to repaint....amazing! Thanks Mr. Sanchez!

Sooners lost :( I'm okay with it. Florida was the better team, but OU missed some key scoring opportunities. Based on the comments made by the announcers last night, I guess I'll be praying to Saint Tebow on Sunday. He walks on water, heals sick children in 3rd world countries, and plays football! Where does he find the time.

Have a great weekend!